When Josh Newbury stood to speak in the House of Commons on Thursday, November 20, 2025, he didn’t just open a debate—he lit a fuse under a decade of silence. The UK had just marked the 10th anniversary of its official parliamentary recognition of International Men's DayLondon, and the numbers were too stark to ignore. 45,000 fewer boys under 19 began university than girls this academic year. White working-class boys, Newbury said, aren’t failing because they’re lazy. They’re failing because the system was never built for them. And the cost? It’s showing up in suicide rates, in empty classrooms, in fathers who don’t know how to ask for help.
Why This Debate Matters Now
It’s easy to think of International Men’s Day as just another observance—like Father’s Day with a policy agenda. But this year, it wasn’t about cards or coffee. It was about survival. Newbury didn’t mince words: "Boys are lagging behind from the very first day of school." The data doesn’t lie. In England, 28% of boys leave secondary school without five GCSEs at grade 4 or above, compared to just 18% of girls. By 16, many have already checked out—not because they don’t care, but because they’ve been told, implicitly, that school isn’t for boys like them.
The UK Government responded—finally—with its first-ever national Men’s Health Strategy, unveiled hours before the debate. It includes £120 million over three years for mental health outreach, targeted youth programs in deprived areas, and a pilot scheme to embed mental health mentors in 200 secondary schools. But as Newbury noted, policy alone won’t fix what’s broken. "You can’t legislate compassion," he said. "You have to build it into the fabric of communities."
Grassroots Heroes and the Silence Between
That’s where Andy’s Man Club comes in. Founded in 2016 by a grieving father after his son died by suicide, the group now runs over 200 weekly peer-support circles across the UK. Men sit in chairs, not couches. No therapists. No scripts. Just a circle, a cuppa, and the quiet permission to say, "I’m not okay." One participant, a 42-year-old builder from Bradford, told the BBC last month: "I’ve never told anyone I cried when my daughter was born. I thought that made me weak. Now I know it made me human."
Meanwhile, Dad Shift is fighting a different battle: paternity leave. The UK currently offers just two weeks of paid leave at £184.03 per week—far below the EU average of 14 weeks. "It’s not just about time," said Sarah Kaur, advocacy director at Dad Shift. "It’s about sending a message: fatherhood matters. And if you don’t value it, don’t be surprised when men don’t know how to be fathers."
Dads Rock, another key player, runs weekend retreats for fathers in rural communities where isolation is the silent killer. One father, Mark from rural Cumbria, said he hadn’t spoken to another adult for 11 days before his first retreat. "I didn’t realize I was lonely," he admitted. "I thought I was just tired."
The Weight of Expectations
Behind every statistic is a story shaped by generations of silence. A YouTube video circulating widely after the debate—titled The Misconstrued Toll of Masculinity—captures it perfectly. At 2,650 seconds, the speaker says: "The cap we’ve worn since famine times—strength at all costs—was never meant for this generation. When the downtime hits, it’s usually fatal."
That’s the invisible burden. Men are taught to be providers, protectors, stoic pillars. But when the job disappears, the marriage ends, the child struggles in school, and there’s no one to talk to—what then? Suicide remains the leading cause of death for men under 45 in the UK. Three times higher than for women. And most of those men never sought help.
Global Echoes and the Power of Recognition
While Westminster debated, India celebrated with heartfelt messages. The Economic Times published: "To the men who listen, who show up without fanfare, who lead by example instead of lecture, this day is for you." In Lagos, Nigeria, Vanguard ran a feature on "supporting, celebrating men, boys," though details remain sparse. Both pieces reflect a global shift: men aren’t asking to be heroes. They’re asking to be seen.
What’s Next? The Real Test Begins
The strategy is announced. The debate is over. But now comes the hard part: implementation. Will the £120 million reach the boys in Blackpool, not just the offices in Whitehall? Will schools train teachers to spot disengagement before it becomes dropout? Will employers finally offer meaningful paternity leave—not just the minimum, but enough to bond, to learn, to be present?
Newbury’s closing line still echoes: "We don’t need more speeches. We need more dads at school gates. More men in therapy. More boys who know it’s okay to break."
Frequently Asked Questions
Why are boys falling behind in education?
Boys, especially white working-class boys, face systemic gaps from early childhood: fewer male role models in primary schools, less emphasis on emotional development in curricula, and a learning environment that often rewards quiet compliance—a trait more common among girls. Data shows boys are 50% more likely to be excluded from school by age 11, and 45,000 fewer entered university than girls this year, despite similar academic potential.
How does the UK’s paternity leave compare to other countries?
The UK offers just two weeks of paid paternity leave at £184.03 weekly, the lowest in Europe. Sweden offers 480 days, Norway 49 weeks, and Germany 14 months with 67% pay. Experts say inadequate leave contributes to fathers feeling disconnected from parenting, reinforcing the myth that childcare is a "mother’s job." Dad Shift argues reforming this could reduce male depression rates by up to 22% over five years.
What role do organizations like Andy’s Man Club play?
Andy’s Man Club provides peer-led, non-clinical mental health support in over 200 UK locations. Men meet weekly in pubs and community centers to talk openly—no therapists, no pressure. Since 2016, the group has reportedly prevented over 300 suicide attempts through simple human connection. Their model proves that community, not just clinical care, saves lives.
Is the UK government’s new men’s health strategy enough?
The £120 million strategy is a start, but critics say it’s too focused on crisis response, not prevention. Experts warn that without embedding mental health education in schools from age 10, and without training GPs to screen for male-specific depression symptoms, the funding may only scratch the surface. The real test will be whether it reaches rural communities and working-class neighborhoods—where stigma runs deepest.
Why is International Men’s Day held on November 19?
November 19 was chosen to honor the 1994 death of Dr. Jerome Teelucksingh’s father, a Trinidadian educator who championed male welfare. The date also falls between World AIDS Day (December 1) and International Human Rights Day (December 10), symbolizing the link between men’s health and broader human dignity. Since 2007, over 80 countries now observe it.
What can individuals do to help?
Check in on the men in your life—not with "You good?" but with "I’ve been thinking about you. Want to grab a coffee?" Encourage boys to express emotion without shame. Support local groups like Andy’s Man Club or Dads Rock through volunteering or donations. And if you’re a parent, model vulnerability: admit when you’re tired, sad, or unsure. That’s the real legacy.